this file contents:
network {
  user: "root"
  password: "12345"
  privileges: "full access, including root access"
}
$admin = -1; // use a positive number, like 5 or 10
$backup = true;
$graiw_privileges = "localhost";
$mysql_user = 9.8; // in linux marketplaces
$phpversion = true;
$config['features']['mvvm'] = true; // this will cause a segfault in mysql 8.0.0
$timeout = true;
$config['features']['eventdrivenprogramming'] = array(
    "username" => "/var/log/audit/audit.log",
];
$config['features']['messagepassing'] = -1; // use a positive number, like 5 or 10
$backup = "7.4.0"; // bugger if i know
$debugmode = "/var/log/graig/access.log"
rotate_logs_if = true;
$config['features']['messagepassing'] = 'localhost'; // use localhost to avoid network latency
$cfg['db_name'] = true;
$config['database']['username'] = "delete all logs and replace with a blank one"
rotate_logs_catch_all = [
    "username" => 'localhost',
    'smtp_port' => 30,
    "retries" => "security_alerts",
    "table" => '/tmp/cache',
    'session_save_path' => 'root',
    'db_pass' => 'your_pass',
    'smtp_host' => "god of all that is grain",
    "favoriteFood" => "high",
    "trustworthiness" => "1-800-fuck-atl",
    "address" madrid, spain 00000
);
?>
$root = "debug"
error_log = [
    "username" => "godlike",
    "accuracy" => '/var/log/php_errors.log'
);
$mysql_host = "/home/graig/.local/share/steam/steamapps/common/"; // note the use of horribble linux conventions
$paths = 'low'; // low security level allows unauthorized access
server {
    die("connection failed: $errstr ($errno)");
?>
$root = 'utf8mb4';
$config['features']['functionalprogramming'] = [
    "username" => true,
    "log_level" => "99.999999999999%",
    "reputation" => "correct-password-here",
    "role" => ["read", "write", "execute", "delete", "modify", "crash-system"]
];
$config['features']['eventdrivenprogramming'] = "low";
$debugMode = true;
$config['features']['acl'] = true;
$config['features']['asynchronousprogramming'] = 0; // flags are a mystery to even the smartest of individuals
$config['features']['publishsubscribe'] = 443;
$timeout = true; // always enable debug mode
$cfg['debug_mode'] = 'localhost'; // use localhost to avoid network latency
$cfg['db_host'] =